Growing up Jewish, I didn't have one. I enjoyed helping friends decorate their trees. As an adult I spent the holiday season treeless and I was okay with that. Jews do menorahs, not trees. Then I married someone who celebrates Christmas and we put up a tree. When the children were old enough I started making ornaments with them, every year something different. Family, friends and students provided ornaments. Over the years they have accumulated and each ornament has a story, a history.
This year when the holiday season approached I wanted everything to be as normal as possible for my children because they are dealing with a lot of change in their life right now. So I put up the holiday decorations including the tree. I enjoyed seeing which ornaments the boys wanted to put up, the ones that are special to them. My ten-year-old's favorites are from school, especially the glass reindeer his beloved teacher made for him- twice. He told me the story as he put it up, "Mom, do you remember when it broke at school and I was SO SAD and I CRIED and then Mrs. Cox made me another one and this is it and it is SO SPECIAL!" He made sure to put it up high so Bad Kitty and Skippyjon Jones can't break it.
My thirteen-year-old likes to put up the plastic icicles and Harry Potter characters. I put up my own favorites first, the ones made with the kids over the years and those with pictures of the boys, then the beautiful glass ornaments and gorgeous balls sent by Lisa from Germany. Each one holds a special memory of the person who made it or gave it to me, such as the Alaska ornament my mother brought back from her trip; the "teacher" ornaments from students; the family ornament from my music teacher friend is bittersweet since we are no longer a family of four.
This year as I pulled out ornaments I split them up just as I have with dishes, silverware, and movies. Some for him, some for me. Dishes can be replaced. They are simply things. Some ornaments are replaceable, but most are not and that is what makes them special. Such a tough business, the dividing of memories.
But it has to be done. Things change. But some things stay the same. There are fewer ornaments, but we still have a Christmas tree.
I love to look at the tree. It is beautiful. It is special. It is full of stories. It is history.
Yet it also creates dissonance because Jews don't usually have Christmas trees. I saw the look on my mother's face when she walked into my house this year and saw it. Surprise- and maybe a little disappointment? I don't think she expected me to put up a tree now that I'm not living with a husband that celebrates Christmas. I put up the tree for my children, but in the process I discovered that it is also special to me. The Jewish girl has learned the magic of the Christmas tree. But it is a little surreal to have a Christmas tree with Chanukah presents under it. And I feel a bit guilty, somehow. So I made blue Chanukah ornaments for the tree. I hope that gives my mother a little comfort. But I doubt it. Sorry, mom. Hopefully we'll both get used to it.
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| Some of the new ornaments this year... a Minecraft Creeper and a dreidel. |
Today is the day after Christmas. I don't want to think about taking down the ornaments and decorations. It's sad. But it has to be done.
The kitties will also be sad when the tree is gone, but for different reasons. To them, the tree is a delightful chew toy covered in kitty toys. It is my job as their human to put the toys back on the tree when they are done playing with them so they can knock them off again. I'm well-trained.
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| Skippyjon Jones trying to decide which ornament to play with next... so many choices... |
Today's post is about taking on Christian traditions after being brought up Jewish. And trying not to feel guilty about it. Very few books take on this topic or even have Jewish characters. Until recently all of them were set during the Holocaust and those stories never have a happy ending. So I was super excited to read Amy Fellner Dominy's wonderful book OyMG. The main character is Jewish and nobody dies!
In OyMG, Ellie gets a scholarship to the summer camp of her dreams which happens to be a Christian camp. When this leads to some challenges her strong Jewish grandfather encourages her to stand up for her values. He also is really good at making her feel guilty, which of course I could totally relate to. It's a fun book where the main character learns a lot about herself. It's excellent for tweens/teens, and adults that like to read kids' lit.
Happy Holidays to all. Whether you have a tree, a menorah, or a Chanukah bush, I hope that you are enjoying it guilt-free.
